Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year! That’s what they say and maybe it is for them. For our family the holidays bring up all kinds of stress, anxiety and extreme behaviors. Every since my kids were young they were always super excited for Christmas. As soon the weather starts turning cold and especially if snow hit the ground they want to decorate, write letters to Santa and make cookies! Of course Christmas for many kids also means the return of their Elf on the Shelf. If you have a kid with ADHD or anxiety, the elf on the shelf may not be your friend!
So. The Elf on the Shelf. The elf on the shelf that is a great source of joy. Based on a book, The Elf on the Shelf is a tiny magical elf that shows up at your house on December 1st and reports back to Santa every day with a report of how the children are behaving. In true elf-ish form, elves plays pranks and consumes a lot of sugar! Think of the movie Elf, but brought to life and parents are the ones who need to figure out the antics, buy the props and move the damn elf EVERY NIGHT! Yes the elf brings holiday spirit and excitement to many households. But the damn elf also brings lots of stress for parents.
Christmas is universal in North America. Even before December 1st people are talking and planning about the holidays. Whether it’s holidays meals, acts of kindness or kids telling what gifts they hope Santa brings them people talk. For my son, this didn’t help. My son would get so excited and feel such big emotions he could not control his ADHD behaviors. Every day was a big deal and non-stop obsessions over Christmas, Santa, what he would get, what he will do on the holidays and more. Back then we foolishly thought welcoming the elf into our house would be a welcome distraction. The elf on the shelf and ADHD would work… right?
When your child has ADHD & anxiety, the elf on the shelf doesn’t help. Every night my son could barely go to sleep because he was so excited to see what the elf would do the next day. His anticipation would mean he would awaken 5 a.m. in the hopes of seeing what the elf did first. So if your a busy mom who forgot to move the elf and hoped to do it before kids get up in the am… THINK AGAIN! I speak from experience because this happened many times.
Trying to Keep the Magic Alive
Being fair, it wasn’t that I would forget to move the elf. It’s more that my son would be so out of control with his emotions, anxiety, behavior and rage it’s hard to get him settled at night. One those nights when I did get him settled I was so physically and emotionally drained all I could do is crawl into bed. On the nights when he wasn’t raging out of control my ADHD son couldn’t sleep because of excitement and adrenaline for what the elf would do.
I can’t tell you how many times I was getting the elf ready and my son would enter the room. As soon as he entered the room, I would have to come up with an excuse like I was preparing a surprise for them from me! After multiple nights of doing a ‘surprise from mommy’, I quickly learned that preparation is key. I now prepare all the things for a few nights at a time. This way I don’t make extra noise setting things up and can quickly put them into place.
Also, like in real estate, location, location, location. Our elf never appears near their bedrooms or anywhere that can be seen from the top of the stairs where they may be trying to peak out!
Top Reasons your Elf on the Shelf didn’t Move
When you can’t seem to move your elf, you have to be ready with a reason why. My kids are smart. I have to keep track of what I told them and not use the same excuse. The most common excuse parents use is that kids were bad so the elf didn’t want to report back to Santa they were misbehaving. This is one of the more controversial points about the elf. Some parents use this as a technique to keep kids in line, others feel the elf shouldn’t be used to threaten kids into behaving.
Here are some of the best excuses I have found:
- Your elf did not want to report your kid’s bad behavior.
- Solution: kids gotta get their shit together and start behaving, keeping room tidy, homework, etc.
- The kids didn’t say goodnight so the elf stayed in the same spot waiting.
- Solution: get your kids to report to the elf every night before they go to bed and tell how they did one kind deed for someone.
- Try to convince them that the elf did actually move a tiny bit. Kids don’t pay attention, so you can convince them the elf moved an arm or leg a bit to play a trick.
- Solution: Try to convince them that it did move a bit.
- The elf had the day off.
- Solution: Explain just like schools have days off, some days at the North Pole that no elves are allowed.
- Your elf is sick.
- Solution: Everybody gets sick, even elves. Put some candy canes, cookies or candy next to the elf to help him feel better. A small cup of maple syrup is a great medicine too!
- Your elf fell asleep!
- Solution: Again, it’s due to kids not going to bed. The elf had to wait so long for kids to behave and go to sleep, he fell asleep and could make it to the North Pole. This will help get your kids to bed the following night!
The Great Thing about Elf on the Shelf and ADHD kids
Now I really hope you didn’t read this story and think that I hate my elf on the shelf. It may be challenging and I am not a Pinterest mom, but I do love the joy the elf brings to my kids. My sons ADHD also gives him great creativity. His creativity makes him look forward to the elf and think up crazy ideas and get excited for every morning to see what the elf has done.
Even though sometimes I may have to race downstairs before my kids get up, we still keep bringing him back. Thankfully I have a great friend Kathryn who posts lots of great ideas I can borrow! Check out some of her ideas here.
How does the Elf on the Shelf get along with your ADHD kid?
