I know what your thinking…she does what?? And what words does she say? Don’t worry it’s not the F-bomb and it’s probably not what you think. My daughter is a bundle of joy. A happy, skipping, head in the cloud’s kind of girl.
At the end of grade one my sweet little girl became grounded when it became clear that she was different then other kids her age. And that’s when we added a few more letters to our families alphabet soup of ADHD, ADD, Anxiety. Now the latest piece to our pie was Dyslexia. This mean having to talk to my kid about Dyslexia.
This was a very difficult week for our family. It wasn’t because my son was also recently diagnosed with dyslexia and dysorthography (dyslexias cousin that affects writing). This was a difficult week because it was the first time that my daughter found something she couldn’t easily do. Up until this point our ray of sunshine found things easy for her to accomplish. She was never a demanding child and didn’t ask for much. She was a child who could generally find something happy in everything she did. Then I was tasked with bursting her bubble. I had to find a way to explain to her not only was Dyslexia is, that it’s not her fault and there is no easy fix.
The Talk
I had to sit down my seven-year-old and have ‘the talk’ with her. The talk that all parents of children with behavioral or learning problems have to have. The reality is she already knew that there was something different about her. She knew she was smart but just couldn’t figure things out in class like the other kids. We worried it was ADHD or something else, but now we knew. Now we could put a name to it and deal with it. To my surprise she was relieved too. That’s the thing, we forget that kids are smarter than we think. She could finally understand why she was different, why she couldn’t recognize the letters of the alphabet or why she found it so difficult to read.
That relieved joy lasted all of 5 minutes while she was processing what this meant. Then being as smart as she is, she started looking for solutions. “It’s ok Mommy. I can just take some medicine and it will all be ok.” Then I had to tell her there is no pill, there is no simple fix for dyslexia. She continued to process this new information. Determined she asked next “will I have this in grade 2?” (She thought it may only be a grade 1 thing). “Will I have it when I’m a teenager?” Again, I answered, yes sweetie, it’s not something you will outgrow, but over time we can work to make it easier. “What about when I’m an adult?” This is where the gravity of her learning disorder sunk in. She realized it wasn’t as simple as taking a pill to fix and she started to cry. This was the first time my joyful daughter truly cried and it broke me.
We cried and then laughed together
As we sat there crying, I had no idea what to say or do to help her, so I said what was true, “Dyslexia sucks … but we are going to kick it’s butt” and this made her smile. Mommy had said bad words and the one with 2 ‘t’s. It was in that moment I realized just how difficult a road she was beginning on, but that she would be ok.
Looking back
From then on when she got frustrated when doing homework, I let her say that ‘dyslexia sucks’ phrase and she smiles. It won’t be easy and sadly it will never go away, but now looking back I smile, thinking of how far she has come since our talk and how she continues to work so hard. The reality is having something not be easy for her is probably the best thing that ever happened to her. She learned the value of working hard, of not quitting and the confidence that if you put your mind to something you can change your life.
Have you had had to talk to your child about Dyslexia? Any other difficult talks? Let us know how you handled it.
