Recently I wrote a story for 5minutesformom.com about how busy moms can WIN the KonMari Method of Decluttering. It made me realize I am kinda obsessed with the Marie Kondo way. This got me asking myself why? Why, am I so enjoying Tidying Up? Why do I look at everything now asking whether it brings me joy?
The first thing is that for once I was on trend! Well not really on it, but not far behind it. A few days into 2019 a hockey mom friend was talking about Netflix’s new show Tidying Up. She was sharing photos of her newly organized kitchen drawers. As a mom living in a house with 3 ADHDers I had to check out the KonMari method of decluttering.
Who is Marie Kondo?
Marie Kondo is the author of best-selling books The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing and Spark Joy: An Illustrated Master Class on the Art of Organizing and Tidying Up. She is also the creator of the KonMari Method and star of Netflix’s series Tidying Up that follows her as she helps people declutter and transform their lives.
What is KonMari?
KonMari is the method of organizing where you bring all items together one category at a time. You only keep the items that spark joy and either recycle, repurpose or throw away everything else.
Kondo says that her method is partly inspired by the traditional Japanese Shinto folk religion. Cleaning and organizing things properly can be a spiritual practice in Shintoism, which is concerned with the energy or divine spirit of things and the right way to live.
What is Tidying Up?
As I turned on the first episode, I was expecting people in need of being airlifted out of their homes due to walls of clutter falling on top of them. That was not the case. Each of the eight episodes in the Netflix series shows people in different places in their life. The only thing they have in common is that they are overwhelmed by clutter and chaos in their life. That’s me! After one episode I had to watch the entire series. I knew that I was about to find wisdom that would allow me to get my cluttered house in order. Or at least make me less want to turn around and leave again as soon as I entered the front door.
Here is what I learned binge-watching Marie Kondo Tidying Up on Netflix.
I Want Their Joy
Yes, the aim is to help people declutter their lives. Having a tidy home where everything has a place is the end goal. But there is something to be said as you watch their lives transform. As a busy mom I would love to have an organized house. But more than that I want to have the light feeling that every person on Tidying Up spoke about as they ‘KonMari’d’ their lives.
Marie Kondo speaks about how a tidy home correlates with personal well-being. Who doesn’t love to come home to a tidy house? You could physically and emotionally see people change during the episodes. Although in all fairness my 9-year-old daughter did point out that she questions whether people really kept it like that. Every episode she was OBSESSED with where they put their bananas in the ‘after’ part.
Respect is Important
This was my biggest lesson. When I started with clothes, I found it incredibly embarrassing to lay out all my clothes, papers, books or really any of the categories. I couldn’t believe how many items I didn’t remember owning. Books I will never read. Or Papers I am holding on to from 15 to 20 years ago. I am sure my mother will not be angry if I throw out a card she gave me 12 years ago.
After you have gone through and decluttered your items you enter into the second part of organizing. This perhaps is the most crucial. You fold every item of clothing into neat little packages. You thank every book. And you create boxes within drawers and cabinets. All these actions make you respect every item you have chosen to keep. There is a reason for every item. Marie Kondo says it’s this mindset change that allows you to stay tidy forever.
You need to see the light
Once you get started, you are impacted. Whether good or bad, there is an impact. The task of doing her ‘once-in-a-lifetime tidying marathon’ of piling each of the 5 categories, can take a toll. But this is a necessary step. Gathering everything together helps you see where the items are in your house and also helps you prevent confusion of what items you have where.
The reality is that Marie does not think you have to live a minimalist life and get rid of everything. She wants you instead to ask if this item is something you want in your future life. Does it ‘spark joy’? In fact, she believes if something brings you joy, you should keep it. Even if you already own something similar.
The more you get rid of, the less you have, so the easier it is to tidy up.
Afterwards, when you open a drawer, whether it be clothes, kitchen or bathroom, the ability to see everything at once makes it easier to find things, but also makes you aware of what you have.
There is no timeline
As a hockey, figure skating, swim team and more mom, plus a mom to ADHDers there is already never time for everything. I am lucky if I get clothes washed and folded, let alone separated and back in drawers. I thought I would never have time to gather up all of one category (clothes, books, papers, kimono or miscellaneous and sentimental items) and sort through what brings me joy. Then It hit me. There is a reason they show the number of days on each episode. Each person is different and what may take one person a week may take another two or three. The reality is as long as you start you are making progress. I thought for sure I would be done in 5 weeks… I week per category, right? WRONG! In fact, as of now I still haven’t gotten around to sentimental items.
But one thing that has changed thanks to Marie Kondo decluttering. I no longer look at things the same. Now when I go to buy something or come across something in my home, I take a moment and look whether it really brings me joy. It surprises me how often things I would have bought really don’t bring me joy.
Everything has a home
If everything has a place to be, then nothing should ever be out of place, right? This sounds so simple, but it’s really hard. Especially with little children. Trying to get children to understand they should pick up their items and put them back in its place, is not easy. Getting them to KonMari tidy up their rooms is even more difficult. The best thing I can do as a mom is lead by example. Oh and have patience. Even when I have to remind myself to keep my cool after I ask my husband to put something away for the hundredth time, I know they will get it… one day… right?
